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I haven’t been updating this thing lately, mostly because I’ve been having conflicting arguments with myself over various things.  I’m also not much of a blogging person I suppose.  But I will try to keep this updated with some content, when I can.  

 Some interesting links for today, on some things I have been researching lately:
Paper Says Edible Meat Can be Grown in a Lab on Industrial Scale – Of course, there are still arguments against it. Here is a more detailed Wikipedia article on the topic.

Demikhov’s two-headed dog – A video, and probably NSFW as well as for anyone who is overly troubled by animal experimentation.

On a similar vein, here is a video of a cat on LSD, as well as a nine-year old child, of course also NSFW, both videos taken during the time when LSD was legal.

Disease-free designer babies with DNA from three parents ‘could be here within three years’

These links are mostly for my own personal notes, though others may find them interesting.  The topic of genetics and ethics is one I want to address here later, when I have more time to assemble my thoughts on it.

I may address the topic of otherkin here as well.  I have before, but its something I might elaborate on in the future.  Or not.  I guess we’ll see.

Still here.

No, this journal has not been forgotten about, or abandoned.  I have some new thoughts and ideas I would like to take down here, and share with those who may still be reading this, if anyone.  A large part of my silence is due to me needing to work out some things in my head.  Now that I have, perhaps I can get to arranging my thoughts more coherently.

Some Thoughts on Ritual and Spirituality

I remember reading somewhere that ritual (spiritual as opposed to daily rote activity) has its roots in childhood pretend and roleplay.  Perhaps that is why spiritual or religious ceremony does absolutely nothing whatsoever for me.  I’ve never been able to understand why reciting silly words and performing exaggerated actions, for example, is supposed to help one become more in-tune with the numinous or spiritual.  On a psychological level it makes sense– the use of certain cues or programming methods that trigger the brain into experiencing gnostic states.  To me these methods would be useless, and to be honest many I find to be quite ridiculous.  I still try to be respectful however, and keep out of discussion on things involving pagan or occult ritual, or I’ll remove myself to another area if I find I am about to lose my restraint and laugh out loud.

I also never quite understood the common fad with exposing the intimate details of one’s spiritual practice on the internet.  To me, one’s spirituality is a very intimate and personal thing, and I don’t think all of it was meant to be shared.  Somehow it seems to lose meaning when one shares it with a number of people.  It also seems to me like too many people are keen on turning their spirituality into their fandom.  When I see some of this stuff on the internet, my mind already begins to draw parallels with dominionist Christianity–the hype with injecting the spiritual into every iota of their lifestyle.  I never understood this line of thinking, and I probably never will.

I realize that in writing this entry I may get a number of people who will disagree with me, or rapidly lose interest in reading this blog, as I don’t tend to approach the topic of spirituality and spiritual practice with the extreme enthusiasm that some do.  That’s fine.  My purpose in writing this is not to criticize, but to merely voice an opinion and observation.  What people do is their business, but I still have a right to my opinion, especially if it is in a public arena such as the internet.

Avianthropy Thoughts

On Livejournal I run a community called Avianthropes, for the discussion of avian-based therianthropy. I’ve noticed that most discussions centered around this topic primarily involve mammalian ‘theriotypes’ (I’m not sure I particularly like this word), so I wanted to create a forum where this specific aspect can be discussed. Copied below is a snippet from a recent post I had made, detailing some more thoughts on the matter.

For the most part, I tend to subscribe to the psychological model of therianthropy, but that doesn’t mean I don’t consider or entertain other models too. I think spirituality plays a part in my therianthropy (or avianthropy, as it where), though its something I’m still attempting to reconcile. I was never a very spiritual person before, so talking about this sort of thing doesn’t come easy to me.

In the past, I had felt a closeness to accipiters, particularly accipiter gentilis, the goshawk. It wasn’t until I had gotten the chance to do some more reading, and compared these notes to how I thought and acted. I began to draw comparisons to how I saw myself as a raptor, and what I had read and observed close-up. The falcon in particular seemed to fit the bill a lot closer than the goshawk, given its flight patterns and hunting style, and comparing it to my own–be it in my own headspace, or how I might otherwise function in the world around me. The peregrine falcon specifically, though I also feel a closeness to the lanner falcon (both of which tend to overlap in territory and genetics). To me this felt much more natural than before, like finding a piece of clothing that fits you perfectly (although this might be considered a weak comparison by some). So, although I am in a constant state of ’soulsearching’, I have felt a profound sense of…homecoming? in the peregrine falcon.

Speaking of which, this is a good essay written by one of our own members, which could easily be applied to the nonhuman experience as well as a solely spiritual/pagan format.

Magic, Paradigm-Shifts, etc.

The newest model is called the Cybernetic model and it leans on quantum mechanics as its foundation, particularly the belief in a probabilistic universe. In the Cybernetic universe, neurological storms in the brain can have a cascade effect upon the universe, like the popularized Butterfly Effect. Many Chaos Magicians believe that the Cybernetic model loops back into the Spirit Model.

This quote lifted from The Cyber-Sidh, and one which best describes my viewpoint on magic. This isn’t the only model I recognize, but its one I tend to work with the most. The other three models also work their ways in there to varying degrees. Having existed solely in the vacuum of my own little world and experiences, I had not really had the chance to categorize my views or inner workings in ways that could be explained to others. This was helped along, in part, by this book. Taking the advice of a close friend, I suppose it did help for me to poke my head out of my island and actually take a look around.

I am experiencing a paradigm-shift, one I hope to ride out with the best possible grace. Like a cat, I need to readjust myself and land on my feet. I need to save face, at least for my own sake. Anything less seems completely unacceptable, however I am operating from my intense desire to not be seen as naked or bumbling. I am a perfectionist when it comes to certain things, and tend to hold myself to absurd standards that I would not impose on others, yet seem perfectly willing to impose on myself as a form of psychological self-flaggellation. In retrospect I’m beginning to think that this isn’t a healthy pattern, at least not a wholly healthy one. Perhaps by the end of this I can find myself in a better headspace.

I also added a new page to this blog, as well as modify my blogroll a bit. The topic of multiplicity isn’t something that I am personally ashamed of, nor is it something I intend to hide. Since it is a large part of my life, it will occasionally be brought up here–and I am not personally worried about this given the type of audience this blog will inevitably attract.

Later I’ll post some reviews of books I’ve been reading, as well as other things. I’m fresh out of topics for tonight though.

Sounds Of The Cosmos And Altered States

Last night, surfing the web in a fit of boredom while trying to get to sleep (which didn’t occur until many, many hours later) I came across this website: SpaceWeather.com. Very, very interesting site. I particularly enjoyed the Radio Meteor Listening and the NASA online VLF receiver. Of course there is also RadioAstronomy, which broadcasts live feeds from various radio locations around the world–a personal favorite of mine (I am quite happy to see that it’s now back online again, because for awhile the site had gone down).

As bizarre as these noises might sound to most people, I actually find them quite relaxing. Relaxing to the point where I have been known to reach strange altered states of consciousness while listening to one continuous stream, and have gotten into the habit of doing so whenever I feel I need to achieve some meditative calm, or otherwise get myself into a different headspace. I will usually do this while sitting up and leaning against something, sometimes in bed, with my eyes closed. Sitting up helps prevent me from falling asleep, but given my chronic insomnia, it has been known to happen. This is one of the reasons also why I began playing a stream to help me get to sleep. White noise, much like the static on a TV screen, has a consistent hypnotic effect. I’ve heard of others who have used the method of watching white static on a TV screen to achieve altered states of consciousness, but this method is not something I could readily relate to. I don’t even watch television when there are actual programs playing, unless its something I’m readily interested in.

Astronomy and related is actually a very intricate part of my spirituality. Its part of what I work with. There are several people I know who work with objects and spirits/entities from the natural world: animals, bones, skins. My preferred method is working with the celestial and meteorologic: meteorites, tektites, fulgurites, weather patterns, astronomical observations. I have said before that I could relate to a star or a thunderstorm more readily than I could an organic being. That said, it doesn’t mean I don’t have a fair amount of respect for the natural world, it just isn’t my element. When I sit in my room and work with my meteorite and impactite collection, either sorting them or creating pieces of art out of them (or some reasonable facsimile thereof), and listening to one of these radio streams, not only do I feel like I am more in my element, but I also feel like I can better relate to the material I am working with.

I will elaborate more on this topic later. Right now my primary focus is achieving some degree of profitable sleep, the lack of which has interfered quite a bit with my thought processes lately. Signing off for now.

First.

So I’ve started another blog. To be honest, the LiveJournal scene is really beginning to grate on my nerves. I will be keeping my account on there to keep in contact with the necessary people, but I do intend on using this one to expand a little more on my thought processes and whatnot. Based on my wide range of interests, I doubt I’ll have too much difficulty finding topics to write about in here.

I guess we’ll see. More later.